Criss Cross Applesause, and other healthy touch games

I just taught my son "Criss Cross Applesauce" and how to give someone an Indian Rose Garden.. I'm a good mommy AND a good daddy, too!! =)

Remember thiose?? Criss Cross Applesauce- Spiders crawling up your back. Spiders here, spiders there, spiders crawling everywhere. Tight Squeeze, Cool breeze.. now you've got the shiveries!!

These are great little "touch" exercises to play with the kids- and that the kids can play with their friend, once they learn how to administer them without hurting each other, of course. Very fun games.

How it's done:
Criss Cross applesauce (make a giant X on the person's back with your fingertips, and then, as you say applesauce, give a little pound to the center of the X.
Spiders crawling up your back (make your fingertips like spider creepers, jogging up the back, with two hands... and by the way, this whole exercise is only like five seconds of touching, so it needs to go rather quickly) Spiders here, spiders there (just give them little spider crawlers on various areas of the back) Spiders crawling everywhere (the spiders are all over the place, for a second) Tight squeeze (give a little pinch to the back of the person's neck) Cool breeze (just blow cool air on the back of the neck while saying the word "Cool") Now you've got the shiveries- Just an ULTRALIGHT feather touch to the back, all over, very briefly.. use two hands throughout. Very cool little chant and touching game for kids- and it really gives them a shivery sensation. Better than playing doctor, too. =)

How to give an Indian Rose Garden:
The receiving friend gives you their hand, palm side up, and rolls up their sleeve to the elbow. On that inner forearm area, the part that is exposed to the giver, the indian starts his work. He "hoes" the ground to make it soft (rubs skin up and down, like in flower rows) "rakes" the ground, to prepare (gentle scratching) then he digs holes to plant the flowers (spot scratching- like digging in four or five spots along two lines- gentle though- dont hurt your friend) and then he plants the flowers, by little pinches. Then, lastly, he waters the flowers (licks his hand and wipes it on the arm) and VOILA! An Indian Rose Garden, right on the receiver's arm!!

Oh and it's even better if you catch someone by surprise with the Criss Cross Applesauce one, as long as they like it, lol.. At the pool, especially, because their skin is bare, so you get better results.
I am really close to getting licensed as a massage therapist, so I will be posting little updates on touch therapy exercises that are fun, and will hopefully bring the joy of touch back into the lives of the otherwise un-touched.

There are some other ones, too-
"Round and Round the Garden"
This is more for babies and toddlers, and is really short, and simple to learn.
You get the child's hand in yours, palm side up. You start drawing little circles on their palm, saying "Round and round the garden I lost my teddy bear.." Then you start "sneaking" up their arm.. "one step, two steps".. just walk your fingers up, in two steps. Babies and tots have tiny arms, so this is easy.. Then you say "I found it under there!", as you tickle them under the armpit! Toddlers and babies will keep handing you their hands, if they really like it. They might even want to do the same for you. Very healthy touching for caregivers and little babes.

Oh and there is a variation of this called "round and round the garden" It starts with the circles on the tummy, while the giver says "Round about round about, in a little house.." Then take steps up the chest area, saying "up the stairs up the stairs, to catch a little mouse!!" ending in tickling them under their chin.

Just good fun healthy excuses to touch and be touched, and bond with your child or friends.. Touch is essential to survival, so we should really be incorporating fun and healthy touch into our daily routines. These little games take seconds to do- but think about doing "kiss the baby push ups", if you want to incorporate the little one a little more into your life, and bond with them all at the same time. <3

You.. send me.

Every time I close my eyes- you send me.
Every single breath I take- you send me .
To the furthest reaches of reality- you send me.
Into the innermost parts of my soul- you send me.

You reach me with intense joy and love.
When it rains, your love pours down on me.
You swallow me into your passions.
I am here for your taking.

My eyes can burn a hole into the soul of another.. I do it for you.
My eyes can reach the innermost precious secrets another holds.. I do this for you.
Your power is immense- it is shared and enjoyed by many.
You are the king of my life- and thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.

You are both the commandeer and the purpose of my mission.
A mission to help. My mission is to help others, through you.
A mission to love. My mission is to love everyone- because of you.
A mission for peace. My mission is to bring peace- through your grace.
A mission for justice. My mission is to create believers out of non believers- I believe in you.

I love you, God. I am woman, and I thank you for all of the many blessings you have given me.

Amen.

Drugs are not your best friend.

OK I probably have a lot more energy than the average bear.. so to someone who uses drugs and alcohol regularly, I am probably something of a Tazmanian Devil, lol.. I really feel very sorry for people who have "self medicated" for so long on alcohol and drugs, because their high is only coming from the dopamine in their brains being released at higher than normal doses, by using their substances. Eventually, a person can literally run out of dopamine. Now, I am not one of those people who are "anti drugs", either- I honestly think that people should be allowed to use whatever they want, whenever they want, for whatever reason they choose. It's their body not mine. I wish that people would be more responsible with their substance usage, though. I mean, there is a big difference between using something responsibly, socially, and only on occasion, and abusing something or becoming dependent on it.
I am talking about substances a lot, because I think that substance abuse has also lead many people to commit crimes. I am not pro crime, by the way- but I think that if it could be proven that a sociopath was once a normal minded person, who abused dopamine-releasing drugs, then their mental state at a time when they committed a crime should maybe even be bypassed.. You know the whole "competency test" for standing trial.. A person who knew the difference between right and wrong, had intent, etc.. all that stuff- Well, if a person abused drugs for a long time, unless they quit and stopped using for a substantial period of time, before the crime unwittingly occurred, that is- I mean, if they were still using drugs, then their mental state at the time that this crime was committed should be tossed aside. Really- WHY aren't there more advertisements on television and billboards, simply explaining to people what these drugs are actually doing to them!! Once the dopamine runs out, a person can stop being capable of feeling any emotions. This is the scariest thing to me, just knowing how many young people are using drugs in the world. It seems that in 20 years or so, we will probably have a world that is 15% psychopath residents.. Yikes!!!
Why not just do a lot of advertising on what dopamine is, why we need it, and how it is used up so quickly?? Here are some ideas:
"Want to be permanently institutionalized for psychosis? Then keep doing drugs. Otherwise, call this Hotline, before it's too late."
"Dopamine- the natural dope!! Dig it!"
"When Just Saying No makes you feel awkward, just imagine yourself in 20 years, when the word "NO" doesn't mean a thing to you. Drugs- You CAN STILL WALK AWAY."
"Saying yes to drugs is like saying no to your dreams. Besides- all drugs do is use up your hormones, and drag you down. Say yes to your dreams. Be your own best friend today."
Even druggies are not stupid idiots. Heck, even homeless people have laptop computers. I wish that these anti-drug campaigns weren't so condescending. People with drug problems have a serious problem- in fact, they have a disability. It needs to be addressed differently. We need to approach the war on drugs in a new, and inventive way. I am ready for a change, Obama. Let's get to it.

The big bad wolf..

Well, I came to realize today that abusive people will always be abusive, and that I REALLY don't care if they are offended by my boundaries or my not being willing to put up with behavior that makes me uncomfortable. Abusers are going to be abusive no matter what, but the more you let them get away with, the more they TRY to get away with.. so why should I or anyone else, worry about what they think??
I would rather be with someone who has the same values as me, instead of being around people who consider me "uptight", for not being risky enough for their tastes. I LIKE having high standards, goals, and ambitions. I enjoy my life, and don't need alcohol and drugs to be happy and cheerful all the time. Actually, it amazes me how many people who USE drugs and alcohol actually WISH that they could feel as upbeat and be as energetic as I am. So there. Nanny nanny boo boo- you can't get me, because if I had to choose between being alone and appreciated, and being with someone who was a jerk- I would choose the single life, instead, TYVM. I like it better that way- I can wake up and face myself in the mirror that way. I know a lot of people just can't do this. I am glad that I can, and especially that I do. =)

Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?

It seems that these days, most people are wolves in sheep's clothing.. But why should someone spend their life being afraid of these predators? Why not grab the bull by the horns, and take control of your life.. Notice I didn't say "JUST grab the bull by the horns".. Let me explain.

In my experiences, men are the wolves, for the most part. Predators.. powerless little jerks who don't have any control in their own lives, so they take advantage of a woman who has weak or no boundaries. Weak boundaries are a major culprit for becoming an "easy target"..

What are boundaries? They are those invisible lines that most people who are very healthy, discuss openly, and do not hesitate to make clear to whomever needs some clarification. These are the people who are consistent disciplinarians.. Who have a strong appreciation for themselves, and are not afraid of speaking up and taking action, when warranted. They might have a system.. maybe three strikes.. or maybe they just kick a person to the curb at the first signs of bad behavior.. I personally am just now re-learning how my boundaries work.. and most importantly, how to work them to my advantage.

Boundaries are good.. Like, let's take a very simple example here, just for the heck of it- If I don't like drinking unsweetened tea, then the likelihood of drinking it is very slim. I would never choose to drink unsweetened tea, because I just don't like the way it tastes. That is a boundary, albeit a shallow one. Still- when given a choice between two perfectly equal drinks- sweet tea and unsweetened tea, I will choose the sweet stuff. I would most likely just chuck out a cup of unsweetened tea, and never let that vile stuff touch my lips, unless of course, I was extremely thirsty and had no other choices or options.

This sweet versus unsweetened tea situation is a good way to compare good men and bad men, and who we choose to keep in our lives. We know that there is a big difference between a good man and a bad man. We know that for some women, all of their exes are bad men.. but we are equally aware of her feelings for them during the relationship.. the idea that those men were good at heart men. Good at heart men who are bad men are still bad men, and for some women, it just takes a certain amount of BS to take place for her to reach her "limit", and leave him.

How much of this BS must a woman take from a man, before being considered a codependent, though? This is a question I believe I might ponder for the next day, or two, or three, before giving a good and rational response. Honestly, I just don't know. Maybe I still have a victim mentality- but the God's honest truth is, I just do not know the answer to that question. It is one that has been burning a hole in my soul for well over a year now.

My last boyfriend was very abusive, and used to beat me up regularly. It was the only relationship I ever had that I actually got "beat up" in. I had been abused, even physically abused, in almost all of my past relationships.. but this guy used FISTS. I never thought I would be one of those women who stayed with an abusive guy, who beat the crap out of me all the time, but I was that woman, and now I really need to look deeper, do some more soul searching, and figure out why I felt like I could help him, or felt indebted to him somehow. Beyond that, I want to try to figure out at what point, exactly, do I need to decide to call it quits, to avoid ongoing mental/ emotional/ physical and sexual abuse. My biggest question is probably inappropriate, and completely off base- but when is "having strict boundaries" a healthy and prosperous way to live, and at what point do your boundaries make you a complete "B" word.. or uptight??

Is it really better to be uptight and bitchy, with strong boundaries, or is it better to let things slide from time to time, even though they reach the upper limits on your "how much BS I can take"-ometer..

Begging the question.. I know the answers are within me.. Hopefully I will have some semblance of an answer in the next couple of days.
Til then.. peace and love.. XOXO

Orlando Fourth of July: Mayhem and Misery

You are going to laugh.. and maybe get a slight headache from this story.. but I hope you just laugh. This is actually kind of a funny story.. Really aggravating, but once I read through it myself, I was totally laughing my head off.
Tonight, at the 4th of July celebration at Lake Eola, I was trying to do a SLOW U-turn, and was halfway through it, which I really took my time with, since there were so many people walking, and this lady and her little girl were kinda just standing there, not paying attention. Well, I didn't want to scare them, because they were so close, not close enough to hit, but close enough that seeing headlights coming at them, even slowly, might have startled them. So, I waited a minute or so, and then when the lady, who was standing RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY VAN, mind you, had her daughter tie her shoes or something, I went ahead and started to ease back into my U-turn, so as to get out of there, and just go slow so that they wouldn't think I was some drunk reckless driver, hahaha. Well of course, I moved about six inches, and the mom flipped out on me, walked up to my van, and I was all "nooo, no no no- I am just turning around", because I obviously anticipated an idiotic response from this idiotic person.. (there were hundreds of people coming down that street- they were the only ones who chose to stop right in front of a van doing a U turn) and she was trying to say that they were not stopped, etc.. and I was like oh yes you were.. and she got all indignent on me, stuck up her little nose, and said "well she was fixing her sandal".. LMAO.. Good grief woman.. You gotta be kidding me. Oh and then it turns out I am trying to turn into the "exit" portion of some parking lot, which is news to me, considering how the cars were turned, and the fact that there was no exit only sign there.. jeez louise.. So I ended having to back out, but the people working that lot at least helped to get people out of the way for that. What a night.. I tell ya- LAST time we ever go to Lake Eola for the 4th.. What a nightmare. Anyhoo- That story I just told is just proof positive that people can really go off the deep end for something that is really totally innocent. This was originally posted on facebook, as a comment response to CF News 13's post about how a young teenager who was accused of kidnapping a kid from Burlington coat factory, had the charges dropped. Some people felt that he was "guilty guilty guilty", but the kid was 14, and there with his mom. He found a lost child, saw some women walking out the front door, talked to the kid, who followed him out the front door, where he remained for a few minutes, apparently looking for her mom. His "crime" was not covering his butt by saying something to a register lady (they were all in the front of the store to begin with, so the rationale was perfectly reasonable) before going out to find the kiddo's mom, with the kid behind him. He was charged with attempted kidnapping. Good grief. Poor guy will have to have his arrest record expunged now, anyways.. Well, that was what came to mind tonight after the big pain in the butt with doing the U-turn tonight..
Sorry for the novel.. I needed to vent. Anyhoo- to recap why tonight sucked: You spend over an hour in the car, missing fireworks, get your beater van made fun of by snobs, and KICKED by some punk kids, try to weave through the mysterious labyrinth that the police department thinks of as "traffic control", to find a space that doesn't exist, because all of Orlando is in front of and behind you, and all the roads with public spaces are closed off for whatever reason, and the people at the intersections are parking there, just blocking the traffic to see the fireworks, like who gives a damn anyways right.. GRR.. and you end up trying to be EXTRA careful with some people who are not paying attention, end up thinking they just don't care that you are turning, so you slowly try to turn, just to get treated like a psycho, and then have to do the same damn thing in reverse, with a new labyrinth, too. We managed to get out of the car for all of 10 minutes. Woo hoo. We brought the neighbor's dog, who we love but they are going to give it to the pound soon.. and when we got home, it was friggin raining, too, so we couldn't even do fireworks at home. I love the Fourth of July, but this HONORABLY DISCHARGED NAVY VETERAN with ZERO points on her license is extremely relieved that this night is finally over. Next year, we are heading up there around three.. Screw it. :-/

Respect starts at home

To be a good role model for our children, it is important that we, as parents, remind ourselves to teach our children how to live good, healthy, wholesome lifestyles, by modeling positive behaviors. Children learn through repetition. They figure out how to open cabinets, speak, eat, and walk, all by watching other people do those things. Children also learn good and bad habits by the environment that they are brought up in.

"Do as I say, not as I do", is not the wisest way to raise a child. For example, if we do not make our own beds and clean our own rooms, then who are we to scold a child who dutifully follows suit? If we cannot keep our own voices down in a restaurant, or we even continuously go out to eat with people who are loud, and have poor table manners, then why would we turn around and go home, with the incredibly"Expected Behavior" of the child being to use the napkin, cutlery, and to speak with our "inside" voices? We must model for them how to behave themselves in public, if we expect them to act that way either at home, or in a restaurant setting.

In my last post, I discussed bringing home the bacon, and how both partners can do this, while still maintaining a solid family unit. Today, I want to emphasize the importance of not just BEING together, but actually being GREAT together. A family is ONE group. According to the saying "birds of a feather nest together"- it would be very beneficial to the whole family, to have the beauty of that "feather" start with the mature, responsible, capable adults in the home. When parents offer each other and their children a drink, when they are thirsty, it teaches the children consideration for others. This habit of being considerate will become apparent when the child is thirsty, and offers family members or friends something to drink.

Being respectful and considerate are not traits that people are born with. They are learned. Some consideration is learned quickly- a pain reaction, the feeling of being hot or cold, and wanting to warm up- cuddling to stay warm, being common in babies- all teach us at a ripe young age about personal comfort, and how to achieve comfort for ourselves, while getting a positive reaction from those we involve in meeting our needs. Eventually, this becomes so second nature to us, that we are completely unaware. Offering to adjust the thermostat, or give another person a blanket, for instance, is commonplace, even with the most unseemly people in our communities.

Beyond attempting to fulfill physical needs in a mutually satisfying way, consideration also extends into the realm of respect for one another. Being inconsiderate to someone is automatically disrespectful. I don't want to delve too far into it, but the two concepts are not mutually exclusive, either. Respect and consideration are synonyms, the way being loving and being smitten are synonyms, but are not exactly the same concept. A mother can be loving to her husband and children, and still only be smitten with her husband.

Respect and consideration are two concepts we need to make ourselves incredibly aware of. Respect of another person's privacy, space, safety, well being, emotional state, choices, and many other ideas, are incredibly important for everyone around us. If we start making habits for ourselves at home, by modeling the application of these concepts to our family and friends, we can single handedly create a stronger, more peaceful human race. Respect really does start at home. It's time we take our responsibilities to our children seriously, by modeling this concept for them. Who's with me? =)
XOXO

Commuting versus workin the farm

Long ago, families were very patriarchal, meaning they were headed and run exclusively by the male. Children were allowed to work, and the boys spent much of their free time out in the fields with their fathers, tending the farm, while the girls spent much of their time in the home with the mother, cooking and cleaning. This time spent together was a significant help in how close the family bond became. Also, these households generally had more than two generations living under the same roof. Grandparents would move in with their grown children and grandchildren, and the family dynamic was for the family to take care of all of it's direct kin.

These days, we work in a different setting. Children are required to go to school, and although home schooling is a growing trend, it is still pretty uncommon. Women tend to work, and do not generally quit their jobs upon marrying. The methods used to support the family unit are much different now, than they were back in the colonial days. We no longer work on the homestead, for the homestead. We work for "the man" to support the company, which is how we keep the paychecks coming, and in turn, bring that money home to pay bills with.

Since we now bring home the bacon, instead of simply raising it at home, like our ancestors did back in the good ol' days, we do not connect our personal paychecks to our families in the same way we used to. We feel that now we are an individual entity, separate from the group we live with, during the time we are at our job site, earning the hourly/ salary/ commissions/ bonuses/ benefits, etc, which all eventually gets to that family, anyways.

Most couples report that their primary reason for arguing and bickering is due to money issues.
Whose money is it, anyways? A direct deposit to your financial institution, into a jointly held account can be the very thing that saves a marriage/ relationship these days, at least when both people see that the money that they make is not solely theirs to use, but is a resource from which all members of the family to benefit. Many people see this mindset as a woman being a "gold digger", but that is simply not the case. A woman who makes more money than a man should also not hold that fact over the man's head, just as a man should not make a woman feel like she has to ask for money to pay for groceries, or whatever the family's needs are at the moment.

Surely, all of these expenses should be discussed.. but that is for another post. The point of this particular post is simply to point out that we need to STOP "leaving home at home" in a spiritual sense, when we walk through that lobby at work. We need to bring our family photos to work, and insist on our bosses allowing us to post them on our walls, to bring our family to the office, in whatever way possible, because THEY are who we are working to support. They are the ones we LOVE. Our bosses have no reason to feel like we love them! We might like them.. we might like our job, our pay, and even our co-workers.. but they are not sharing our wealth, are they? Actually, they tend to be the very people we have to compete with, just to maintain that paycheck. So, let's tell the boss where we come from.. Tell them that without this family, we are nothing- an empty soul, with nobody to love. Tell them that if they wanted a soulless individual working for them then they could have hired one- reminding them that they did not do this, at all. They hired YOU. Why? Because you have heart. Let your boss know that without your family, you would not be the person that stands before them today. Tell them what your driving force is.

Sharing is caring. Let's bring back the family unit, people. We may not have fields to tend to, or cows to milk, but we have each other. We have brains and compassion. We have a need to be a part of a team. Your family IS a team, and discouraging people from exercising their love for the group of people that they share a home with is one of the most horrendous tragedies that our society has faced, in recent times.

Put on that power tie, men. Ladies- wear that sparkly dress! It is time to shine on! Let the world know who has the real power.... The family that plays together, stays together. Let's play ball!

XOXO Come back soon, everyone!! Be sure to bookmark this page, and check back often.
:-)

First post- Mission and Purpose

Look at this! A new blog. Well, glad to see you here. The purpose of this blog is to share the musings of women in a way that will hopefully enlighten some, and bring peace to many. Being a woman is a wonderful gift, and it is essential that women start believing in themselves, and holding themselves to a higher standard. I want to see women being more accountable for their well being.

All too often, women have a tendency to fall into "victim" mode.. The age old "Damsel in Distress" adage has lost much of the strength it once held. Chivalry is NOT a woman's best friend anymore. We live in the 21st century, and it is high time we stand up and let the world know that not only can we survive stepping in a mud puddle, or having to hold our own door, but yes- we can not only survive, but come out victorious in some of the most vicious attacks a person can experience in their lifetime. We can teach, doctor, practice law, be police officers, Supreme Court Justices.. we can be president.

This blog is about- you guessed it- women's equality. I am a women's lib advocate.. but please- before you click away, do understand. I am a WOMANIST.. not a feminist. Feminism has gone way too far, to the point that our society is on the verge of destruction now. Feminism has caused men to lose so much masculinity, that it is now commonplace for a man to shave his legs, chest, groin, etc, to go get a mani/ pedi and to get his hair done.. Oh and this is not to bash men, either, although I apologize in advance if I ever do this in the future.. After all, I am a woman, so every now and then, I will participate in the whole "gender war".. but usually that will be because of something a man did to me recently. I don't mean to generalize, though, so please don't take it to heart.

I am a womanist. I am a woman who believes that women DO have a place. Men have a place too. Men and women have both become very lost in this world.. nobody seems to have a gender-based identity anymore. In fact, it is almost normal now for men to dress as women, and for women to dress as men. Now, before you start screaming obscenities at me, please do understand- I am not so much into "gender roles", per se.. At least not strict ones. I believe that men have just as much responsibility to take care of children and clean house as women do. I also believe that women should be out working, and bringing home some bacon to help the family's finances, just as men do.

Men and women should both help their families and themselves just as they would if they lived as a single parent. A single mom cuts grass.. a single dad does dishes.. It's not really that big of a deal, really.. We have just become so entangled in something I like to refer to as "gender confusion and animosity" based on the feminine folks gaining power and authority, while simply trying to establish themselves as equals to men. This blog is an attempt at exposing the various tactics used by both sides, the horrible side effects of modern feminism, and the lack of accountability and responsibility we have acquired as a society, as a result of this.. uhh.. Civil War of sorts.. It's time for change, indeed. Thanks for visiting. Bookmark this page (Click on Bookmarks, and "Bookmark this page") and come back to see what's new. Are you a womanist? A man with a voice? All comments are welcome, but please avoid any profanity, or abusive or harassing posts. This is meant to be a PEACEFUL blog.. And I insist that if a post opens your eyes and makes you angry, please sleep on those thoughts, before making your comments. Thanks again.. Many Blessings!! XOXO