Respect starts at home

To be a good role model for our children, it is important that we, as parents, remind ourselves to teach our children how to live good, healthy, wholesome lifestyles, by modeling positive behaviors. Children learn through repetition. They figure out how to open cabinets, speak, eat, and walk, all by watching other people do those things. Children also learn good and bad habits by the environment that they are brought up in.

"Do as I say, not as I do", is not the wisest way to raise a child. For example, if we do not make our own beds and clean our own rooms, then who are we to scold a child who dutifully follows suit? If we cannot keep our own voices down in a restaurant, or we even continuously go out to eat with people who are loud, and have poor table manners, then why would we turn around and go home, with the incredibly"Expected Behavior" of the child being to use the napkin, cutlery, and to speak with our "inside" voices? We must model for them how to behave themselves in public, if we expect them to act that way either at home, or in a restaurant setting.

In my last post, I discussed bringing home the bacon, and how both partners can do this, while still maintaining a solid family unit. Today, I want to emphasize the importance of not just BEING together, but actually being GREAT together. A family is ONE group. According to the saying "birds of a feather nest together"- it would be very beneficial to the whole family, to have the beauty of that "feather" start with the mature, responsible, capable adults in the home. When parents offer each other and their children a drink, when they are thirsty, it teaches the children consideration for others. This habit of being considerate will become apparent when the child is thirsty, and offers family members or friends something to drink.

Being respectful and considerate are not traits that people are born with. They are learned. Some consideration is learned quickly- a pain reaction, the feeling of being hot or cold, and wanting to warm up- cuddling to stay warm, being common in babies- all teach us at a ripe young age about personal comfort, and how to achieve comfort for ourselves, while getting a positive reaction from those we involve in meeting our needs. Eventually, this becomes so second nature to us, that we are completely unaware. Offering to adjust the thermostat, or give another person a blanket, for instance, is commonplace, even with the most unseemly people in our communities.

Beyond attempting to fulfill physical needs in a mutually satisfying way, consideration also extends into the realm of respect for one another. Being inconsiderate to someone is automatically disrespectful. I don't want to delve too far into it, but the two concepts are not mutually exclusive, either. Respect and consideration are synonyms, the way being loving and being smitten are synonyms, but are not exactly the same concept. A mother can be loving to her husband and children, and still only be smitten with her husband.

Respect and consideration are two concepts we need to make ourselves incredibly aware of. Respect of another person's privacy, space, safety, well being, emotional state, choices, and many other ideas, are incredibly important for everyone around us. If we start making habits for ourselves at home, by modeling the application of these concepts to our family and friends, we can single handedly create a stronger, more peaceful human race. Respect really does start at home. It's time we take our responsibilities to our children seriously, by modeling this concept for them. Who's with me? =)
XOXO