Long ago, families were very patriarchal, meaning they were headed and run exclusively by the male. Children were allowed to work, and the boys spent much of their free time out in the fields with their fathers, tending the farm, while the girls spent much of their time in the home with the mother, cooking and cleaning. This time spent together was a significant help in how close the family bond became. Also, these households generally had more than two generations living under the same roof. Grandparents would move in with their grown children and grandchildren, and the family dynamic was for the family to take care of all of it's direct kin.
These days, we work in a different setting. Children are required to go to school, and although home schooling is a growing trend, it is still pretty uncommon. Women tend to work, and do not generally quit their jobs upon marrying. The methods used to support the family unit are much different now, than they were back in the colonial days. We no longer work on the homestead, for the homestead. We work for "the man" to support the company, which is how we keep the paychecks coming, and in turn, bring that money home to pay bills with.
Since we now bring home the bacon, instead of simply raising it at home, like our ancestors did back in the good ol' days, we do not connect our personal paychecks to our families in the same way we used to. We feel that now we are an individual entity, separate from the group we live with, during the time we are at our job site, earning the hourly/ salary/ commissions/ bonuses/ benefits, etc, which all eventually gets to that family, anyways.
Most couples report that their primary reason for arguing and bickering is due to money issues.
Whose money is it, anyways? A direct deposit to your financial institution, into a jointly held account can be the very thing that saves a marriage/ relationship these days, at least when both people see that the money that they make is not solely theirs to use, but is a resource from which all members of the family to benefit. Many people see this mindset as a woman being a "gold digger", but that is simply not the case. A woman who makes more money than a man should also not hold that fact over the man's head, just as a man should not make a woman feel like she has to ask for money to pay for groceries, or whatever the family's needs are at the moment.
Surely, all of these expenses should be discussed.. but that is for another post. The point of this particular post is simply to point out that we need to STOP "leaving home at home" in a spiritual sense, when we walk through that lobby at work. We need to bring our family photos to work, and insist on our bosses allowing us to post them on our walls, to bring our family to the office, in whatever way possible, because THEY are who we are working to support. They are the ones we LOVE. Our bosses have no reason to feel like we love them! We might like them.. we might like our job, our pay, and even our co-workers.. but they are not sharing our wealth, are they? Actually, they tend to be the very people we have to compete with, just to maintain that paycheck. So, let's tell the boss where we come from.. Tell them that without this family, we are nothing- an empty soul, with nobody to love. Tell them that if they wanted a soulless individual working for them then they could have hired one- reminding them that they did not do this, at all. They hired YOU. Why? Because you have heart. Let your boss know that without your family, you would not be the person that stands before them today. Tell them what your driving force is.
Sharing is caring. Let's bring back the family unit, people. We may not have fields to tend to, or cows to milk, but we have each other. We have brains and compassion. We have a need to be a part of a team. Your family IS a team, and discouraging people from exercising their love for the group of people that they share a home with is one of the most horrendous tragedies that our society has faced, in recent times.
Put on that power tie, men. Ladies- wear that sparkly dress! It is time to shine on! Let the world know who has the real power.... The family that plays together, stays together. Let's play ball!
XOXO Come back soon, everyone!! Be sure to bookmark this page, and check back often.
:-)
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