To be a good role model for our children, it is important that we, as parents, remind ourselves to teach our children how to live good, healthy, wholesome lifestyles, by modeling positive behaviors. Children learn through repetition. They figure out how to open cabinets, speak, eat, and walk, all by watching other people do those things. Children also learn good and bad habits by the environment that they are brought up in.
"Do as I say, not as I do", is not the wisest way to raise a child. For example, if we do not make our own beds and clean our own rooms, then who are we to scold a child who dutifully follows suit? If we cannot keep our own voices down in a restaurant, or we even continuously go out to eat with people who are loud, and have poor table manners, then why would we turn around and go home, with the incredibly"Expected Behavior" of the child being to use the napkin, cutlery, and to speak with our "inside" voices? We must model for them how to behave themselves in public, if we expect them to act that way either at home, or in a restaurant setting.
In my last post, I discussed bringing home the bacon, and how both partners can do this, while still maintaining a solid family unit. Today, I want to emphasize the importance of not just BEING together, but actually being GREAT together. A family is ONE group. According to the saying "birds of a feather nest together"- it would be very beneficial to the whole family, to have the beauty of that "feather" start with the mature, responsible, capable adults in the home. When parents offer each other and their children a drink, when they are thirsty, it teaches the children consideration for others. This habit of being considerate will become apparent when the child is thirsty, and offers family members or friends something to drink.
Being respectful and considerate are not traits that people are born with. They are learned. Some consideration is learned quickly- a pain reaction, the feeling of being hot or cold, and wanting to warm up- cuddling to stay warm, being common in babies- all teach us at a ripe young age about personal comfort, and how to achieve comfort for ourselves, while getting a positive reaction from those we involve in meeting our needs. Eventually, this becomes so second nature to us, that we are completely unaware. Offering to adjust the thermostat, or give another person a blanket, for instance, is commonplace, even with the most unseemly people in our communities.
Beyond attempting to fulfill physical needs in a mutually satisfying way, consideration also extends into the realm of respect for one another. Being inconsiderate to someone is automatically disrespectful. I don't want to delve too far into it, but the two concepts are not mutually exclusive, either. Respect and consideration are synonyms, the way being loving and being smitten are synonyms, but are not exactly the same concept. A mother can be loving to her husband and children, and still only be smitten with her husband.
Respect and consideration are two concepts we need to make ourselves incredibly aware of. Respect of another person's privacy, space, safety, well being, emotional state, choices, and many other ideas, are incredibly important for everyone around us. If we start making habits for ourselves at home, by modeling the application of these concepts to our family and friends, we can single handedly create a stronger, more peaceful human race. Respect really does start at home. It's time we take our responsibilities to our children seriously, by modeling this concept for them. Who's with me? =)
XOXO
Monday, June 28, 2010
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Commuting versus workin the farm
Long ago, families were very patriarchal, meaning they were headed and run exclusively by the male. Children were allowed to work, and the boys spent much of their free time out in the fields with their fathers, tending the farm, while the girls spent much of their time in the home with the mother, cooking and cleaning. This time spent together was a significant help in how close the family bond became. Also, these households generally had more than two generations living under the same roof. Grandparents would move in with their grown children and grandchildren, and the family dynamic was for the family to take care of all of it's direct kin.
These days, we work in a different setting. Children are required to go to school, and although home schooling is a growing trend, it is still pretty uncommon. Women tend to work, and do not generally quit their jobs upon marrying. The methods used to support the family unit are much different now, than they were back in the colonial days. We no longer work on the homestead, for the homestead. We work for "the man" to support the company, which is how we keep the paychecks coming, and in turn, bring that money home to pay bills with.
Since we now bring home the bacon, instead of simply raising it at home, like our ancestors did back in the good ol' days, we do not connect our personal paychecks to our families in the same way we used to. We feel that now we are an individual entity, separate from the group we live with, during the time we are at our job site, earning the hourly/ salary/ commissions/ bonuses/ benefits, etc, which all eventually gets to that family, anyways.
Most couples report that their primary reason for arguing and bickering is due to money issues.
Whose money is it, anyways? A direct deposit to your financial institution, into a jointly held account can be the very thing that saves a marriage/ relationship these days, at least when both people see that the money that they make is not solely theirs to use, but is a resource from which all members of the family to benefit. Many people see this mindset as a woman being a "gold digger", but that is simply not the case. A woman who makes more money than a man should also not hold that fact over the man's head, just as a man should not make a woman feel like she has to ask for money to pay for groceries, or whatever the family's needs are at the moment.
Surely, all of these expenses should be discussed.. but that is for another post. The point of this particular post is simply to point out that we need to STOP "leaving home at home" in a spiritual sense, when we walk through that lobby at work. We need to bring our family photos to work, and insist on our bosses allowing us to post them on our walls, to bring our family to the office, in whatever way possible, because THEY are who we are working to support. They are the ones we LOVE. Our bosses have no reason to feel like we love them! We might like them.. we might like our job, our pay, and even our co-workers.. but they are not sharing our wealth, are they? Actually, they tend to be the very people we have to compete with, just to maintain that paycheck. So, let's tell the boss where we come from.. Tell them that without this family, we are nothing- an empty soul, with nobody to love. Tell them that if they wanted a soulless individual working for them then they could have hired one- reminding them that they did not do this, at all. They hired YOU. Why? Because you have heart. Let your boss know that without your family, you would not be the person that stands before them today. Tell them what your driving force is.
Sharing is caring. Let's bring back the family unit, people. We may not have fields to tend to, or cows to milk, but we have each other. We have brains and compassion. We have a need to be a part of a team. Your family IS a team, and discouraging people from exercising their love for the group of people that they share a home with is one of the most horrendous tragedies that our society has faced, in recent times.
Put on that power tie, men. Ladies- wear that sparkly dress! It is time to shine on! Let the world know who has the real power.... The family that plays together, stays together. Let's play ball!
XOXO Come back soon, everyone!! Be sure to bookmark this page, and check back often.
:-)
These days, we work in a different setting. Children are required to go to school, and although home schooling is a growing trend, it is still pretty uncommon. Women tend to work, and do not generally quit their jobs upon marrying. The methods used to support the family unit are much different now, than they were back in the colonial days. We no longer work on the homestead, for the homestead. We work for "the man" to support the company, which is how we keep the paychecks coming, and in turn, bring that money home to pay bills with.
Since we now bring home the bacon, instead of simply raising it at home, like our ancestors did back in the good ol' days, we do not connect our personal paychecks to our families in the same way we used to. We feel that now we are an individual entity, separate from the group we live with, during the time we are at our job site, earning the hourly/ salary/ commissions/ bonuses/ benefits, etc, which all eventually gets to that family, anyways.
Most couples report that their primary reason for arguing and bickering is due to money issues.
Whose money is it, anyways? A direct deposit to your financial institution, into a jointly held account can be the very thing that saves a marriage/ relationship these days, at least when both people see that the money that they make is not solely theirs to use, but is a resource from which all members of the family to benefit. Many people see this mindset as a woman being a "gold digger", but that is simply not the case. A woman who makes more money than a man should also not hold that fact over the man's head, just as a man should not make a woman feel like she has to ask for money to pay for groceries, or whatever the family's needs are at the moment.
Surely, all of these expenses should be discussed.. but that is for another post. The point of this particular post is simply to point out that we need to STOP "leaving home at home" in a spiritual sense, when we walk through that lobby at work. We need to bring our family photos to work, and insist on our bosses allowing us to post them on our walls, to bring our family to the office, in whatever way possible, because THEY are who we are working to support. They are the ones we LOVE. Our bosses have no reason to feel like we love them! We might like them.. we might like our job, our pay, and even our co-workers.. but they are not sharing our wealth, are they? Actually, they tend to be the very people we have to compete with, just to maintain that paycheck. So, let's tell the boss where we come from.. Tell them that without this family, we are nothing- an empty soul, with nobody to love. Tell them that if they wanted a soulless individual working for them then they could have hired one- reminding them that they did not do this, at all. They hired YOU. Why? Because you have heart. Let your boss know that without your family, you would not be the person that stands before them today. Tell them what your driving force is.
Sharing is caring. Let's bring back the family unit, people. We may not have fields to tend to, or cows to milk, but we have each other. We have brains and compassion. We have a need to be a part of a team. Your family IS a team, and discouraging people from exercising their love for the group of people that they share a home with is one of the most horrendous tragedies that our society has faced, in recent times.
Put on that power tie, men. Ladies- wear that sparkly dress! It is time to shine on! Let the world know who has the real power.... The family that plays together, stays together. Let's play ball!
XOXO Come back soon, everyone!! Be sure to bookmark this page, and check back often.
:-)
First post- Mission and Purpose
Look at this! A new blog. Well, glad to see you here. The purpose of this blog is to share the musings of women in a way that will hopefully enlighten some, and bring peace to many. Being a woman is a wonderful gift, and it is essential that women start believing in themselves, and holding themselves to a higher standard. I want to see women being more accountable for their well being.
All too often, women have a tendency to fall into "victim" mode.. The age old "Damsel in Distress" adage has lost much of the strength it once held. Chivalry is NOT a woman's best friend anymore. We live in the 21st century, and it is high time we stand up and let the world know that not only can we survive stepping in a mud puddle, or having to hold our own door, but yes- we can not only survive, but come out victorious in some of the most vicious attacks a person can experience in their lifetime. We can teach, doctor, practice law, be police officers, Supreme Court Justices.. we can be president.
This blog is about- you guessed it- women's equality. I am a women's lib advocate.. but please- before you click away, do understand. I am a WOMANIST.. not a feminist. Feminism has gone way too far, to the point that our society is on the verge of destruction now. Feminism has caused men to lose so much masculinity, that it is now commonplace for a man to shave his legs, chest, groin, etc, to go get a mani/ pedi and to get his hair done.. Oh and this is not to bash men, either, although I apologize in advance if I ever do this in the future.. After all, I am a woman, so every now and then, I will participate in the whole "gender war".. but usually that will be because of something a man did to me recently. I don't mean to generalize, though, so please don't take it to heart.
I am a womanist. I am a woman who believes that women DO have a place. Men have a place too. Men and women have both become very lost in this world.. nobody seems to have a gender-based identity anymore. In fact, it is almost normal now for men to dress as women, and for women to dress as men. Now, before you start screaming obscenities at me, please do understand- I am not so much into "gender roles", per se.. At least not strict ones. I believe that men have just as much responsibility to take care of children and clean house as women do. I also believe that women should be out working, and bringing home some bacon to help the family's finances, just as men do.
Men and women should both help their families and themselves just as they would if they lived as a single parent. A single mom cuts grass.. a single dad does dishes.. It's not really that big of a deal, really.. We have just become so entangled in something I like to refer to as "gender confusion and animosity" based on the feminine folks gaining power and authority, while simply trying to establish themselves as equals to men. This blog is an attempt at exposing the various tactics used by both sides, the horrible side effects of modern feminism, and the lack of accountability and responsibility we have acquired as a society, as a result of this.. uhh.. Civil War of sorts.. It's time for change, indeed. Thanks for visiting. Bookmark this page (Click on Bookmarks, and "Bookmark this page") and come back to see what's new. Are you a womanist? A man with a voice? All comments are welcome, but please avoid any profanity, or abusive or harassing posts. This is meant to be a PEACEFUL blog.. And I insist that if a post opens your eyes and makes you angry, please sleep on those thoughts, before making your comments. Thanks again.. Many Blessings!! XOXO
All too often, women have a tendency to fall into "victim" mode.. The age old "Damsel in Distress" adage has lost much of the strength it once held. Chivalry is NOT a woman's best friend anymore. We live in the 21st century, and it is high time we stand up and let the world know that not only can we survive stepping in a mud puddle, or having to hold our own door, but yes- we can not only survive, but come out victorious in some of the most vicious attacks a person can experience in their lifetime. We can teach, doctor, practice law, be police officers, Supreme Court Justices.. we can be president.
This blog is about- you guessed it- women's equality. I am a women's lib advocate.. but please- before you click away, do understand. I am a WOMANIST.. not a feminist. Feminism has gone way too far, to the point that our society is on the verge of destruction now. Feminism has caused men to lose so much masculinity, that it is now commonplace for a man to shave his legs, chest, groin, etc, to go get a mani/ pedi and to get his hair done.. Oh and this is not to bash men, either, although I apologize in advance if I ever do this in the future.. After all, I am a woman, so every now and then, I will participate in the whole "gender war".. but usually that will be because of something a man did to me recently. I don't mean to generalize, though, so please don't take it to heart.
I am a womanist. I am a woman who believes that women DO have a place. Men have a place too. Men and women have both become very lost in this world.. nobody seems to have a gender-based identity anymore. In fact, it is almost normal now for men to dress as women, and for women to dress as men. Now, before you start screaming obscenities at me, please do understand- I am not so much into "gender roles", per se.. At least not strict ones. I believe that men have just as much responsibility to take care of children and clean house as women do. I also believe that women should be out working, and bringing home some bacon to help the family's finances, just as men do.
Men and women should both help their families and themselves just as they would if they lived as a single parent. A single mom cuts grass.. a single dad does dishes.. It's not really that big of a deal, really.. We have just become so entangled in something I like to refer to as "gender confusion and animosity" based on the feminine folks gaining power and authority, while simply trying to establish themselves as equals to men. This blog is an attempt at exposing the various tactics used by both sides, the horrible side effects of modern feminism, and the lack of accountability and responsibility we have acquired as a society, as a result of this.. uhh.. Civil War of sorts.. It's time for change, indeed. Thanks for visiting. Bookmark this page (Click on Bookmarks, and "Bookmark this page") and come back to see what's new. Are you a womanist? A man with a voice? All comments are welcome, but please avoid any profanity, or abusive or harassing posts. This is meant to be a PEACEFUL blog.. And I insist that if a post opens your eyes and makes you angry, please sleep on those thoughts, before making your comments. Thanks again.. Many Blessings!! XOXO
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